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here2learn -

Woohoo!! Yes!!

"You go girl!"


Speaking of that one Korean guy, I have to say that in my few (3?) experiences knowing Korean guys
(not dating them, just meeting briefly or at work) I've found them to be WAY more forward than
most Chinese guys. They seem a lot more "western" in approach. They (I know I'm generalizing, but
it's 3 out of 3 for me) are more direct, seem more ..... sexual? passionate? don't know how to say
it... they give off a vibe that they're interested, immediately. Like, I can think, "Ok, I know
he's thinking of me in that way, at least a little" even if he didn't do or say anything... that's
more like what I'm used to in 'the west'. Easy to read, open, I think.

Let us know how it goes!

I'm excited for you, you'd better tell us some details!




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feebie -

yeah I have been dating some Chinese guys

nothing serious

just going for coffee/dinner etc


dated one guy who doesn't speak English.
it doesn't work.
as friends okay. but my Chinese is NOT good enough
to be in a relationship with someone who is not fluent in English

anyway I am finding the guys either mention

1. marriage and children, settling down
2. sex

on the first date

I get the impression many guys are looking for a wife

and there are also guys looking for casual sex.
they have the impression that western woman
are promiscuous

and there have been some Chinese guys who have been VERY direct with me
they have said do you wanna 做爱 , 上床

so this is starting to annoy the hell out of me
this stereotype that western women are promiscuous
and now I have guys who want me to introduce them to western women
I ask them "why do you want meet western women"

a friend told me they get the idea from hollywood.


Also the marriage guys. Yeah, now I know how my mum felt in the 1950's
so much pressure by society to get married.
everyone thinking their life will be sorted if they
have the house, kids, car and marriage.

I have met a really nice guy. We have lots in common, he is good looking, I like him. However,
maybe the fact that settling down and having a child is not high on my list of priorities might
put him off.

Then I have met guys with really limited social skills. This is a worldwide phenomena.

and the sleazy guys is a worldwide thing too I think

but they marriage thing is different than Australia. marriage is not that popular in Australia.
and in Australia they have to pay people to encourage them to have children. if you have a baby in
Australia they give you $6000










imron -

Is it up to $6,000 already? Last I heard it was only $5,000.










ipsi() -

Really? They pay you money in Aussie-land to have babies? No wonder we're loosing so many people...










yonglin -

I doubt monetary incentives are that powerful when it comes to baby-making. If they were, Sweden
would be flooded by babies, since you get more than $2k a year every year until the kid turns 18.
In addition to highly subsidized childcare.

I read a while back that raising a kid is a $200k affair anyway....










feebie -

Yonglin

you have a really good point


In Australia the former government started closing down schools etc and giving money to
individuals.

Maybe getting $5000/$6000 (or whatever it is) sounds good to an 18 yo. However, most people
realise that raising a child is much more expensive than that. That money will probably be spent
in the first year or 2.

The money will help prevent some people from adopting off their child or aborting because at least
they know there is some help for the first year. Might help people who are totally destitute be
able to set this up a bit better for a baby.

On the whole I think it is a bad idea.










feebie -

I have decided to leave Beijing

So I have dated quite a few guys

which I now classify in the following groups


1. workaholics
2. are in love with and obsessed with their car
3. want casual sex with an exotic foreigner
4. are too serious -- talking about marriage on the first date etc


I don't think this is any reflection on Beijing.
More a reflection on internet dating.
I can't believe I am doing internet dating (I would not do this in Sydney as it is easier for me
to meet people there)


I met one guy who I really like.

The trouble is he said "I can't imagine a Chinese guy going out with a white girl"

This comment made me feel quite bleak.

The other problem I have discovered is that I am taller than him

Apparently this is embarrassing for him (and for the girl).

I couldn't care less. Im more concerned about personality and character.

He told me "I wish you were a Chinese girl"

so I am not sure what that means.



Anyway it has been good being single in China.
I split with my Australian boyfriend in May last year.
This was good in a way. I got to meet more Chinese people and experience more.
When I was with him we just spent most of our time together at home.

So it has been fine being single for this year.

But now I feel I want to be in a relationship. A stable relationship.

Is this impossible for a white girl in China?

maybe too difficult


+ I want a stable relationship

Don't want to go out for 1 - 2 years then split
want something longer

I can imagine if I go out with a non-Australian passport holder
this could me terribly mafan later on.
might mean a break up.

So on this account I might just go back to Sydney.

I think it sounds stupid going back home just to because it is easy to meet someone.

But life is great but I want someone to share it with.

So I go in 3 months. My Chinese friends are now trying to find a white guy for me (ha ha).

I have talked to white guys who have told me they are instantly popular with women once they come
to China. Actually, my ex boyfriend had about 5 girls that liked him. So I think most of the white
guys are taken.

re: Chinese guys

Yeah because that is another thing. I am wondering about the culture gap. Whether it is possible
for white girls and Chinese guys.

I have an Asian friend who said she has many guys wanting to go out with a "nice little Asian
girl"(her description) and she can play that role. She said if it is night time and he says it is
daytime she will say "oh yes it is daytime". I am not sure if this is a widespread stereotype of
Asian women or not. One of my friends is a Chinese girl with white guys constantly hurting her but
she does not tell them the pain she is going through because she wants him to be happy. him to
love her. I said "if a person loves you they want to know how you really feel about things".
Anyway this is only 2 people. There I know a few Australian women who are similar.


So maybe I just need a Chinese Australian guy. ha ha

I will go find in Australia and bring him back to Beijing.










flameproof -



Quote:

The other problem I have discovered is that I am taller than him
Apparently this is embarrassing for him (and for the girl).

That reminds me on those really bad TV ads for "magic shoes" that always gets aired in Southern
China when the Hong Kong channel have a ad break, or when something sensitive is on. It adds 7cm
or so to ones hight.

To me the ad is really stupid and funny, but I guess it's a real concern for some.










Lu -

Feebie: there are western women with Chinese men. But they are few and far between, and I don't
know how they do it.










feebie -

Lu


how come? why do you say "I don't know how they do it"












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